Tips on listening:

“I’ve learnt that answering my boyfriend with jokes and sarcasm just pisses him off.” 

Dean and Tim

“We try to avoid bringing up things from the past. It isn’t helpful.”  

Chris and Nile

“When saying things to his face is too awkward I write it in a message.”  

Anthony and Seb

“We don’t go to bed angry with each other. We’d not get a good night’s sleep so we tackle things before bedtime.”  

Lenny and Al

• We listen best with our mouths shut!
• We listen with our faces, not just ears – look him in the eye. It’s hard to really listen if you’re doing other things
• Interrupting is a sign you’re not listening
• Asking questions helps to understand his point and makes him feel you’re hearing him
• Insults and changing the subject are ways of avoiding what he’s saying
• Neither is matching his complaint with one of your own
• Try not to dismiss what he says by using phrases like “That’s stupid”, “You must be mad…”, “Yes, but …” etc.
• After saying how you feel ask how he feels and what he’d like.
• A better time for talking is when you won’t be disturbed, you’re both relaxed and in a good mood